1: Catch the bus

(It beats the metro.)

There are no stairs to catch the bus, and the transfers are easy. Plus it’s free to get extra buses within 90 minutes of travel (unless you’re returning, or you get off for a while – then you need a new ticket)

Also, be aware you must then validate your ticket in a machine just behind the driver, after you purchase it. (The driver doesn’t tell the customers this, and we saw a poor German woman taken off the bus by a gaggle of inspectors and fined 200 euro. But then, in a heartwarming twist, the bus drove off, then stopped, due to everyone yelling, and an older woman made an impassioned plea to the inspectors, and they dropped the fine & let the woman back on the bus.)

Hooray for Liberté, égalité, fraternité ! (or should I add – Sisterhood!)

Also, if coming from the airport, get the bus. Trust me on this.

https://www.lebusdirect.com/en/

The train is super crowded. The bus is a modern style coach, which you can pre book, and at least if there’s traffic, you can look at the view. It costs around 18 Euro to get to the main Montparnasse Station.

2: Go up Montparnasse Tower

(instead of the Eiffel Tower)

https://www.tourmontparnasse56.com/en/

Of course, if you have never been to Paris, and the Eiffle Tower is your one true dream, then of course, you must. Just know that the crowds are insane, and the gypsies are out in force. Montparnasse has no crowds and a lovely rooftop and bar to hang in, and a better view (which has the Eiffel Tower in it too, obviously)

3: CHEAP: Whiz around on an electric scooter!

https://www.li.me/en-us/home

I’ve linked here to the Lime scooter company, but there are over 10 different companies, so the best bet would be to walk onto the street, and whatever scooter company is there, you can then download the app and start using that one. I used a Lime scooter, (you can download the Lime app and be ready to use it (like UBER), and I flew right across Paris for about 2 Euro). The app requires you to log off once you’re done, and to take a picture so the next person can see where it is.

*This requires phone battery (of which I had only 1%) so another tip (especially for all you iphone users), is definitely bring a small pocket phone recharger.

4: Eat in a local bistro

There’s no need to trek across town and make a booking in La Boucherie, unless of course you simply must. Pretty much every Bistro will have good food. Order what ever local fare is fresh or recommended.

5: FREE: Visit the gardens & graveyards

Parisienne gardens are filled with geometric trees & symmetry, lakes, sculptures & people. The graveyards are outdoor sculpture museums.

The biggest garden is Jardin des Tuileries, where you will find lines of trees leading to grand monuments such as the Louvre at one end, the Place du la Concord at the other. There is much more than this of course, including my favourite thing to study: people! I think this was the most people I have ever witnessed in a Garden. (but then I’m an Aussie, & we’re used to space). There were all sorts: clowns playing hide & seek, African men selling mini Eiffle Towers, Chestnut sellers, teenage police on horseback with machine guns, children blowing bubbles and old men playing Boule, plus of course Instagrammers busy posing for shots.

The Esplanade de Trocadero is a large outdoor grassed area, with tiered fountains that look back over the Eiffel Tower. There are famous sculptures here too, and when I was there last May, break dancers, a Chinese wedding, oil painters hard at work, and every nationality I could imagine, picnicking in the sun. Fantastic vibe!

Jardin de Luxemborg is a little quieter, and still has the geometric forest, a beautiful rounded lake in the centre, and grand buildings at the ends. For children there are pony rides, merry-go-round, puppets, and slides. Of course, there are more gardens that these, but I really think you begin to understand Paris after a visit to the garden.

The graveyards are also interesting, such as Montparnasse Cemetery which contains some of the most amazing sculptures – a giant mosaic cat, a fish with breasts, a thousand lipstick smears on the headstone of Serge Gainsborough, letters for Gertrude Stein on her grave, & many artists I hadn’t heard of, but now live on, with their fabulous headstones.

What a cheerful grave!
Created by the female sculptor Niki de Saint Phalle for her assistant, Ricardo Menon

6: Take an evening boat tour.

If you are lucky & get on in the evening at half past the hour, you will pass the Eiffle Tower on the hour when it goes all sparkly (!)

There are 2 companies: Bateaux Mouches

The other is Vedettes du Pont Neuf

They are cheaper if you book online beforehand, better in the evening, and the commentated tour lasts for around an hour.

7: FREE: Walk!

Some very interesting areas are Saint-Germain des Près to the Seine, & Montmartre. But Paris is a walking city, and you won’t be bored. Just remember to stop for an aperitif every now and again.